You Live...and You Kinda-Sorta Learn a Little? (Pt.1)

These past few days of break I've been thinking about how much I really did accomplish this quarter. I still don't know my grades so it's not accomplishments measured in that manner, I just mean in the terms of things I have done, positions I've been put in and worked out of, and just a whole mess of things that are different from my first quarter at OU.
I recall in Spring quarter I was mostly just really a loner, I wasn't there to make friends and I really just kept to myself. I just thought that I was so much different and not as cool or rich as most of the kids who go there. I know that's shallow to think but I really dreaded school everyday and just feeling how lonely it was. I think I probably called my mom like twice a day and I don't even live on campus.
Granted, I did make friends here and there in class but it wasn't my focus. I mean I have always been friendly but in new, uncomfortable situations I tend to keep to myself so I really only talked to people who talked to me first. Everyday I just went there and told myself that I didn't need people and I was only there to learn...but I've realized that it wouldn't be much of an experience if I wasn't putting myself out there and trying to make friends.
This quarter I feel like I've done a 90 degree turn at least....maybe not a 180 yet, but I'm improving. The first week I hated it, but somehow I slowly started feeling a little more at ease being more outgoing and trying to talk to people. However, I still mostly met people through class and working at The Post. It was just really nice actually having a few people on campus I could go to events with, talk about class with, and feel better about being there everyday.
The Post was a major stressor this quarter because I was trying to prove myself there, keep up with school, and work two jobs. I technically worked for Backdrop too and joined SPJ but I really didn't try like I should have with them. I spent most of the time stressed out like a maniac, running on coffee (usually with a case of the shakes), and having major bags under my eyes. Spazzing was a twice daily occurrance and putting off things like homework, eating, and going to the restroom became oddly normal.
I worked for The Summer Post and I'm never really sure if that benefitted me or made it harder for me to adjust during the school year. During the summer it was really laid back and chill with a staff of about 20 or less and we pretty much had free reign to write what we wanted. Coming into fall, it freaked me out that we had actual weekly tasks and expectations, along with a staff of over 100. I felt like I worked really hard during the summer to prove myself and after a racing story I did, I felt like maybe people would be a little more accepting....and they were...for the rest of the summer.
Fall as I said, brought new expectations and I certainly didn't meet them. I felt like a spazoid that constantly apologized for not having story ideas, not having things done on time, or just for asking too many questions. I felt embarassed a lot when I would take a story into editing and come out with it looking nothing like what wrote.
I don't know that I've even proven myself yet, I just know I've learned a little from it. I've always been good at going into interviews prepared and I've recieved many compliments on that from the people I interview...and that always encourages me. I've learned to go into the interview knowing I'm the one who controls it and it's my job to get the necessary quotes and story while keeping the people on topic. I've learned not to be embarassed to ask other writers for advice or help because your peers can be your best teachers. I think the biggest thing I've learned is to write about topics I care about or enjoy because, for me, it not only makes it more interesting but it produces a better qualitiy of work that more people will want to read because that caring pours off the pages.
With all of my responsibilities I was definitely spreading myself too thin but I tried to start allowing myself some time for fun. One of the things I am most proud of in a bittersweet sort of way is that I performed stand up comedy! In high school I was voted class clown, which sounds silly but I really spent most of my time entertianing everyone. I always wish I had that level of comfort in college where I could just be really goofy and funny with people I don't know. I heard about an amateur night and did a preview for it for The Post and decided I would also join in the fun. It was one of the most exctiting experiences I've had in a long time and I really want to do it again. The only part I am a little embarassed of is that my humor wasn't exactly clean....but not many real comedians use that good, wholesome humor.
I guess you can pull a lesson from just about anything.

Always ♥,
Anna